Thursday, January 22, 2009

1. Hello.

Skeptic. Disbeliever. Godless.

Call me alone. It’s shorter and it’s easier to spell.

Contrary to what you’re probably thinking I’m not a person whose view of the world has been reduced to some Quasimodo-ed shadow of yours – horribly disfigured and despised by comparison – all for the absence of biblical influence. I’m a wife and a mother. A woman who pays her bills (on time, for the most part), files her taxes (truthfully, for the most part), and even (occasionally) mows her lawn. I don’t litter, I don’t eat babies, and I don’t secretly hope the world will fall into an all-consuming chaos so that disarray such as the one by which I apparently lead my life will take over your existence. I’m quiet. I’m average. I’m so normal I could even be your neighbor, scary as that thought may be. And I’m an atheist.

Of course, you already knew that. Assuming you took note of the disclaimer, that is. But it bears being said if for no other reason than... I don’t often get the chance to say it. Exposing that aspect of little-ole-me generally shuts down the conversation – a bummer to anyone, especially a former-librarian who thrives on information. (What do you think and why? Give me more! A book, an index, an outline! – It’s a desperate, sick need. One that I find can only be curbed by massive, interchanging doses of caffeine and chocolate.) Long-time friends and strangers alike have walked away mid-sentence at the drop of that one word; wiping me from their mental list of “people whose opinions have even the slightest bearing” with little more than a backward twitch of their hand.

I can’t blame them. Not really.

It’s partly a product of location. This is America. One Nation Under God. Where apple pie and baseball go hand-in-hand with Sunday-school and sin. Where fifty percent of the population believes with one hundred percent certainty that Noah ferried copulating creatures (including pairings of the planet’s three hundred and fifty thousand species of beetles) through an anger-induced culling of humanity. It features prominently in our politics – one debate question in the last election’s primaries being, "What stance would Jesus take on the matter of immigration?" Swap the name “Jesus” with “Allah” for a clearer view of that one. It’s on our money, our mail, our buildings. Everything about us says, America is faith, and faith is America.

What of the citizens without it? When George Bush Sr. was asked whether he recognized the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists, he said “No”.

Hmm.

To me, it seems an odd sort of irony that a nation founded on (among other things) religious freedom stands out as one of the most likely to shun me for my religious views, or lack thereof. It bothers me now to even have to make that correlation – isn’t it contrary to the point? But that’s the sad extent of it. Citizens who wouldn’t dream of discriminating against another for their beliefs are more than content to socially persecute someone for having no beliefs at all. Call it prejudice or call it fear, it’s an acceptable thing for you to hate me. I know the view from your side of the river. I lived it, after all. But I’d very much like for you to know the view from mine. And there aren’t many bridges between us under the open scrutiny of American living.

So it’s come down to this. I’m outing myself via typo. Term-paper style.

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