Friday, February 20, 2009

10. Sam's the weird uncle. The one no one talks about.

As human nature would have it, this isn’t the easiest of ideas to relay. Were I to swear the benefits of godlessness were guiltless self-indulgence and candy corn, well that could be poo-poohed away. But honesty? Reason? Pshaw. Absurdity in its finest clothes.

So unless I’m willing to delve into the nitty-gritty of a large-scale debate (which I.... generally am) – it comes as no surprise that caring individuals amass by the dozens to harry my unsaved patootie; firm in the impression that my wayward decision had a sadly-confused goal. Part of me can’t help but feel touched by the sentiment. Friends and family are meant to have your best interests at heart, after all. And religious immersion has somehow become an ever-extending limb of “things that are good for you”.

The problem comes when these concerned efforts are not only offered up on an individual basis, but as a decree from our nation as a whole. Much as Jefferson would be astonished, ashamed, and downright pissed to read the phrase “In God We Trust” on the paper lining Congressional pockets; it’s there all the same, as if to lend Federal credence to the idea that those who don’t believe in god are under some civil or monetary obligation to behave as though they did. “No, this isn’t what you believe, but shush and let the slogans sink in. Your country says so.” Fake it ‘til you make it, I suppose.

Ick, says I. And, should I dare to do so aloud, the response invariably comes in the form of annoyance. “Silly atheists, whining over harmless daily customs...” But imagine for a moment, being religious and having no choice – by virtue of your nationality – but to send your child to a school where every morning he was expected to recite a decree stating that god was a most-certain farce; or being asked in a courtroom to swear your oath upon the Koran or the Iliad; or (Apollo forbid) knowing your tax dollars were tallied to fund Mithras-for-addicts. The merging of faith and politics doesn’t seem so wonderfully benign when the faith you’re forced to suffer isn’t your own.

But still, the implication that we ought to “suck it up” is much easier to follow than the alternative of… well, not sucking it up.

Take for instance Jeremy Hall, a U.S. Army Specialist stationed in Iraq, who has received countless threats of death and violence from Americans (shedding a whole new, sarcastic light on their “Support the Troops” car magnets) and from members of his own Unit for attempting to organize an atheist social meeting under the approval of their chaplain. Or Nicole Smalkowski, an openly-atheistic high school student who was ridiculed not only by students but by teachers with phrases like, “This is a Christian country. And if you don’t like it, get out.” First booted from the girl’s basketball team under the grounds that she was “bad for morale”, the girl was later expelled when she refused to join in on the Lord’s Prayer. Examples are unfortunately easy to come by. And somehow, as a nation, we’re okay with this. At least, our lack of a response would seem to say as much.

The heavy hand, the reality, the wooden paddle (the big one, with the holes in it) with which many are punished for daring to open their mouths is a definite deterrent to the whole idea of stepping through the closet door. One that seems strangely difficult to see from the other side of the river.

Somehow, its notice is viewed as promoting a culture of victimization. When, really, that’s akin to throwing accusations of self-pity at anyone who points out that horse dookie has an ucky odor.



The fact that we should even feel required to observe the tenets of a religion we have no stake in ought to be unacceptable. Why? Because, much as others may argue that it’s to our benefit, the truth of the matter is that it stinks. And I, for one, am tired of the smell.

So… what to do…?

Oh, don’t give me that look – I’m not talking about a revolution here. But surely there’s some effort that can be exerted to alter public policy or, at the very least, public opinion.

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