Do you know how an incandescent light bulb works? Of course you do, because you're clever. I can tell. ("You must be, or you wouldn't be here," said the cat.) You're also kind, so you'll forgive a layman's meager description anyway, won't you?
Unsuspecting electrons truck along the wiring of your house in a continuous flow, transferring from atom to atom. Small and simple as you like, minding their own business, they run into resistance in our chosen metaphor: the light bulb. There, for the briefest instant, they find themselves faced with a most inhospitable metal, tungsten. Tungsten is made of stern stuff, at least in this sense. It doesn't want to break down, it doesn't want to give in, and its sole purpose in the bulb is to hold the line and make life miserable for that poor current, which had so happily kept to itself prior to their meeting. Tungsten is the Man, keeping the current down. The bastard. Amazingly, despite the opposition, these little electrons keep right on going, and those of us in the room reap the benefits in the form of heat and - voila! - light.
In case you hadn't sussed it out for yourself (which, of course, you did, because you're clever), the tungsten opposition represents all those who stand in your way. The filaments are the assholes of your town, your country, and the world at large.
And this is where I apologize to you on behalf of all the filaments in your life.
The religious who condemn you without cause beyond archaic verse. The "straights" who cling to superiority with phrases like "unnatural" and "subversive," blaming you for their own failed relationships because it's easier than facing up to their own inadequacies. The men who decry a blurring of the gender lines for fear that it will compromise their ability to oppress, or that they themselves might become victims -- treated no better than they would treat women. The wives and mothers who haven't stood up on your behalf, believing that they can somehow gain status by begrudging you the very thing they lack: empowerment. For all the bullies you've ever met, or ever will meet... I. Am. Sorry.
I am so sorry.
You are not a sin. You are not an abomination. And you are not alone. You have done NOTHING to deserve ridicule, harassment, or condemnation. Anyone who would project their weaknesses upon you is small and fearful, their judgment skewed. You are beautiful because you are unique. The only you that has ever been, and the only you that will ever be. What a wonderment is that!
Life is conflict, as you know. Probably all too well. But so too is it change -- and often that change is for the better. When a bulb burns out, it is the filament that breaks, not the current. The current simply steps back and waits for a new path, knowing that resistance offers what the easy road can't: a chance to shine. A chance to be the light for that other teen, the one just like you, who will tomorrow wonder whether the world is as dark and lonely as it sometimes feels. They will reach out, whether at school, in confidence, or in cyberspace, and you will be there to tell them that this cause does not need martyrs, it has enough of those. It needs real people -- with breath and life, compassion and conviction -- to brighten the world by doing the most courageous thing they'll ever do.
To keep on trucking, despite the opposition.
Hold your head up. Tell your story. Either here, or in one of the many active and supportive communities of your choosing. We've got your back. In fact, we'll still be standing with you long after the last filament breaks. Can't blame me for sticking with the metaphor, can you? Of course not. Because you aren't just clever. You're brilliant.
It Gets Better.
WipeOut Homophobia on Facebook.
WHOF Suicide Helpline.
PFLAG.
The Trevor Project.
My heart breaks to hear the myriad stories of oppression and irascible hatred directed at someone simply because of whom they choose to love. The troglodytic venom that I, even as a straight man, encounter because I choose to defend another person's right to love, regardless of sex, is more than unfair - it is detestable. Those of you that suffer for the unfounded hatred of others - I, too, apologize. There is hope, there is light at the end of this. Thank you for being you.
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