33. "Well then, what DO you believe in?"

"You ended that sentence with a preposition. Bastard." ~ Colonel Jack O'Neill (With two ells!)

Ask this of someone who doesn't believe in ghosts or fire-breathing kettle monsters and they'd look at you as though you'd inquired after their lack of a third nostril. It would be a nonsensical question, and it would be treated as such. If, on the other hand, you count yourself among those who don't believe in talking snakes or the magical properties of foreskins, you can bet dollars to doughnuts that this question will be among the first to spill from anyone and everyone who discovers your absence of faith.

I don't know if, like me, you find this baffling. It dresses like something of a demand: You must believe in some form of the supernatural. While I still have yet to figure out the basis for this line of reasoning, there are a number of not-so clever responses designed to leave the inquirer in the same befuddled state, should you find yourself in a less-than-social mood... "Vampires. I believe in vampires," is my personal favorite. Said with a serious enough face, they'll be convinced that you say your rosary to Twilight and leave you in the blessed silence your condition warrants.*

Admittedly, though, there are times when displaying my lack of wit is as trying as responding to the question with any sincerity. And since the honest answer sounds rather silly when spoken aloud, better to place it online, where my cheesy side can be immortalized.

I believe in reason and the scientific method.

I believe in the pursuit of knowledge and the integrity of critical thinking.

I believe in compassion, in treating those you encounter with kindness and with dignity, even when it is difficult -- because WE are all we have.

I believe in love.

I believe perspective is one of the hardest things to obtain, and one of the easiest to lose.

I believe in a morality driven by an honest understanding of individuals, communities, and countries; one that recognizes the urgent need to reduce suffering, the hopeful desire to promote well-being.

I believe that bigotry, contempt, and jealousy are the surest ways to poison the lives of those you love, along with those you don't.

I believe that selflessness and courage are one and the same.

I believe in our ability as a whole to overcome harmful myths and tiresome ideologies. I believe our failure in this would cause more harm than can, or should, be forgiven.

I believe life is wondrous enough without mysticism, and that no institution has the right to hold itself immune from criticism.

I believe that superstition is a product of our fears.

I believe that fear is crippling.

And for all its emptiness, despair, and drudgery, I still believe the universe is a beautiful place, worthy of investigation, awe, and reverence.

Much like the follower of any faith, I don't always live up to my beliefs. I falter. I fall short of that better version of myself. But still I try. Because among those things I cannot believe, the most prominent is this: that the legacy of my generation is to be one where individuals created strife for the sake of a theology that forced us to be less than what we truly were.


*I won't go so far as to say it's the most intolerable series ever... But it's pretty much the most intolerable series. Ever.

29. Put that in yer pipe.

Here's an amusing little tidbit...

In ASL (Sign Language), the word "belief" is conveyed by signing "thought" and following immediately into the sign for "marriage". Literally, "the thought to which you're married".

Divorce attorneys, look sharp.

7. ….braAaiNS! bRaaaAAins! br-bRRRAAINS!

Bear with me for a bit of meandering? Excellent, I knew you were the adventurous sort.

Nifty little fact-nugget: boundless as the brain’s capacity for information may be, the manner in which it processes and files that information is not without its hiccups. Physiology and chemical high-tailing are a mite bit restrictive and, like bouncers at a night-club, they are quick to shut the door on the metaphoric trouble-maker.

“You. Yeah, you with the velvet suit. Sorry, pal, but there’s no room for you in this club. Better luck next time.”

Velvet Suit Guy is harmless, of course. But they don’t know that, nor do they care to. Because they’ve formed a belief, you see; and once that belief has been accepted as an accurate truth, the brain handles it in a rather miserly way: by sticking it in a cement of sorts, where there is no room for debate. (By belief, it’s important to understand that I do not mean the hesitant, “yeah, I think so” sort; but rather a firmly-held impression of reality. The belief that you are alive, for example.) Thanks to its needy nature, our brain cannot hold two opposing beliefs simultaneously, with equal regards to their truthfulness. For instance, bouncers one and two cannot believe our VSG is at once harmful and harmless. He may be harmful on some occasions or in certain regards, and harmless on others, but he cannot be both at the same time. The existence of one inherently diminishes the other. The brain may accept mid-points. It may alternate between beliefs. It may even replace an existing belief with an opposing one, but only if it can make room for the possibility that a belief may potentially be incorrect. If it cannot, your mind will automatically discard the outside notions that contradict it for as long as that belief is active. This is why we see such amusing political discussions on primetime television, with pundits talking AT one another, rather than TO one another. And why I hold nothing against those who do their best to avoid me.

From here, mom’s inspiring statement should rightly take an evolutionary turn. For the question should no longer be simply whether a belief is inherited, but whether it has any foundation whatsoever. Those many years ago, I'd placed my belief on the table, given it a scrupulous thrice-over, and walked away empty-handed. Those who’ve taken that first step, at least, and given themselves the leeway to doubt are not typically threatened by my label. To everyone else, I’ve become the opposing belief. My every word is indecipherable.

But anyway, back to the matter at hand…